Inside the House
by Himizu-chan
Summary: Himizu, Ryouko, and Risu know that something funny is going on in The House of the Nutcases... and not the good kind of funny either. So accompanied by Kurama and Hiei, they disguise themselves and go incognito to take back the House! Complete!
1. Chapter 1

Inside the House

A/N: This is something of a sequel to the House of the Nutcases fic that's posted on my joint page with Ryouko (if you're interested, go under my fave authors and click "Ryouko and Himizu" there's a bunch of fics there that she and I wrote together) and you should really read it first just to get background on the House because I'm not going to bother explaining too much about it. So if you become confused, that's your own fault, go read the other fic. Also drop a review off while you're there, it'll make Ryouko happy.

**Chapter 1**

Himizu, Risu, and Ryouko were hanging out in Animedom with Kurama and Hiei as they usually did. The girls were going over various papers and bill and things. Finally Himizu shook her head.

"None of this adds up. The House of the Nutcases is hemorrhaging money, and our patients are being shipped to other facilities at a record-breaking rate," Himizu said. "How can this be happening? We should have more business than the building can hold now that we've expanded the House to cater to people obsessed with any anime, not just Yu Yu Hakusho…"

"Probably because we aren't there to personally supervise the place," Risu suggested.

"Yes, but whenever we visit we either get locked up ourselves or we get the syrupy smiles and the sanitized tour. And when we are locked up, we're escorted to our own private rooms and treated quite well, surprisingly. We don't get treated like ordinary patients," Ryouko pointed out.

"This is true… Well, we can at least start our research." Himizu clapped her hands. "WINSTON!"

A very neat and correct Michael Caine look-alike butler-type appeared. "You called, milady?" he asked with a slight bow.

"Hello there Winston. We're having a problem with some of these records for the House, is there anything you can tell us?" Himizu asked.

"I'm afraid not milady. Dr. Mortimer always keeps me away from the general wings, saying that the cases are so severe that he cannot allow any but the most experienced medical professionals near the cases."

"That's odd… the general wings should be relatively mild cases," Ryouko mused.

"He blames the upswing of obsessions," Winston replied calmly.

"Very odd… those can be violent at times but for the most part, they're also fairly peaceable when they've been deprived of their obsession for a while and the withdrawal symptoms are over," Risu said.

"I can't be sure of anything milady. Dr. Mortimer knows that my loyalty lies only with you ladies, so he would be sure to hide any disreputable practices from me," Winston stated.

"Thank you Winston," Himizu said. He bowed to the girls again and vanished when Himizu clapped her hands again. "Well that cans it. Dr. Mortimer is hiding something and we're going to find out what it is!" she declared.

"How? He knows all of us by sight, except maybe Risu," Ryouko said.

"We'll need disguises. And we'll need Kurama and Hiei to help us," Himizu added, glancing at the two demons. Both stood up to leave, but Hiei was tackled to the ground by Risu.

"You're not going anywhere," she told him sternly. He sighed. Risu had jumped up and blocked Kurama even though he was over six inches taller than her, she was too fast and fierce for him to get by.

"What do you need us for?" Kurama protested.

"You need to control Risu," Himizu said. "And Hiei is going to be our ticket inside."

"How's that now?" Hiei exclaimed.

Himizu's grin widened. "Follow me."

They all ran up the stairs to Himizu's bedroom and she threw open the door to her closet. Kurama had never ceased to be amazed that a girl who almost always wore jeans and t-shirts, sweats, or black clothes should need such a giant closet but it had come in handy before and she seemed to think it would come in handy again now. Himizu vanished into the closet for a moment, then came back out with a wig. It was a woman's bob cut in a nice auburn color which she tossed at Risu. Risu sighed and pulled it on. Himizu ran back into her closet and pulled out a nurse's outfit (not one of those super-slutty ones, get your minds out of the gutter!).

"Let me guess… I get to go and apply for a job as a nurse," Risu said grimly.

"Yes, and your name will be Togi. You'll be assisted by your capable partner Kango." Himizu pulled out another wig with very stringy and just a little greasy black hair and plopped it on Kurama's head and shoved a male nurse's uniform at him as well as some contacts. Kurama sighed and went to change. The contacts were blue to hide his brilliant green eyes.

"This is uncomfortable…" he grumbled.

"You'll be quite a bit more uncomfortable if the fanatics in the obsession wing see you and try to molest you, so deal with it!" Himizu exclaimed. "Besides, you haven't even seen what I'm going to do to the rest of us."

Hiei turned to leave. Ryouko grabbed him by the collar. "Don't get me wrong, I'm starting to get the same idea that you are, but let's wait it out," she said.

Himizu pulled out a wig with blonde shaggy hair and some hair gel and carefully styled it into a smaller and less tidy version of Hiei's hair. Then she pulled out dark brown contacts, a pair of guy's jeans with a hole in on knee, a raggedy t-shirt, and a pair of smudged worn-looking tennis shoes, as well as one of Hiei's old cloaks which looked faded and worn-out and had a few small rips in it. Hiei glared at her.

"Before I even ask about this ridiculous costume, why do you have one of my old cloaks?" he asked. Himizu grinned.

"Stole it from Ryouko. She'd been wearing it for a while and it was starting to look a little ratty, so she stole another one of your cloaks and I stole this one from her cuz I figured we'd need it at some point."

Hiei glared at Ryouko. "Why do you keep stealing my stuff?" he yelled at her.

"Uh… because?" she said with a sheepish grin.

"Anyways," Himizu said, ignoring them, "Hiei, your name will be Rei and you will be suffering under the most unfortunate delusion that you are Hiei Jaganishi from Yu Yu Hakusho."

"…..But I AM Hiei Jaganshi from Yu Yu Hakusho…"

Himizu turned to Ryouko and smiled. "See, he has the part down already. Now, Hiei, please go change."

Hiei grumbled and walked off to do so. Himizu reached back into her closet and pulled out a wig of bleached blonde hair set in pigtails. Then she pulled out large black nerdy-looking glasses, a jean skirt with hearts printed on it, a bright red t-shirt covered in hearts, a jean jacket with hearts embroidered on it, and red high heels. She tossed the ensemble to Ryouko, who went to change and came back utterly unrecognizable.

"You, my dear, are Kinomi, and you share Rei's delusion that he is Hiei and you are desperately in love of him because of it."

"Oh, fantastic… baka!" Ryouko exclaimed strangling her friend. Himizu gagged and tried to call for help. Kurama finally took pity on her and helped her. Himizu reached back into the closet and pulled out a wig of black hair pulled back into a braid and put it on her own head. The braid, which had a scrunchie with a pink butterfly tied around the end of it, reached all the way down to her waist. She put on her own jean skirt (no hearts) and a pink shirt with flowers on it and pink flats. Then she pulled out makeup and she and Ryouko gave each other makeovers. Kurama had to admit that he was impressed by the disguises.

"And I am Ami, Kinomi's terribly concerned friend who heard of the House from a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend and thought it sounded like the right place for Kinomi and Rei," she said with a smile as she pulled out some red heart-shaped jewelry for Ryouko and some pink jewelry for herself.

"I thought you were practically allergic to pink, where did you find this stuff at?" Kurama asked. "Not to mention these wigs… and the men's clothing…"

"Like I said, you never know what will come in handy," Himizu said with a grin. Kurama thought about the slutty Goth outfit she'd showed them at one time (see BSTV's for that) and realized she might just be right.

Himizu took a deep breath and composed herself. "Okay, let's go. Risu, Kurama… brace yourselves. We'll follow in an hour." They did and she teleported them to the House of the Nutcases. Then she and Ryouko made adjustments to their costumes and Hiei's while they waited.

"So how's this going to work?" Hiei asked.

"Well with the impeccable resumes that I faked for them, Risu and Kurama will get jobs for sure. You and Ryouko will become patients at the House, and I will be your contact outside. Once we figure out what the hell is going on there, we'll shut that shit down!" she explained.

Hiei shook his head. The girls ignored him and Himizu teleported them to the House. The imposing building loomed above them and Hiei sighed. Himizu grabbed both of them by the wrists and dragged them inside the building. She raced up to the reception desk, braid flying around her and skirt trying to flare up and show more of her long legs.

"Excuse me!" she exclaimed to catch the attention of the receptionist.

"Yes dear?" the woman asked, glancing over her glasses at the eager-looking girl in front of her.

"This is the House of the Nutcases right? The hospital for those obsessed with anime to an extent that it destroys their lives?"

"Yes. Why?" the woman asked, leaning forward slightly.

"Well my name is Ami and I have two just awful cases here. Rei thinks he's Hiei Jaganshi from Yu Yu Hakusho and Kinomi, she's my bestest friend in the whole wide world, she's just in love with Hiei and she's deluded herself that Rei IS Hiei…" She turned around and she and the receptionist stared as Ryouko nuzzled up to Hiei, rubbing one of her legs against his and nuzzling at his neck. He had his arms gently wrapped around her, holding her steady, and his face was calm and didn't betray how freaked out he was by her.

"Hm, it does seem severe…" the woman murmured. "Would you please bring them to room 143?"

"Yes ma'am!" the girl in front of her exclaimed as she took to her heels and ran back to her friends and dragged them down the hall. As they walked, they spotted Kurama and Risu being escorted around the hospital by another nurse who was plainly showing them around. Inside the examining room, Himizu sat on a chair and Ryouko and Hiei jumped up onto the table. Himizu looked at them.

"Sit on his lap," she said.

"WHAT?" Both people yelped at her.

"You heard me," Himizu said flatly.

They looked at each other and Ryouko sighed and hesitantly sat on Hiei's lap. He held her gingerly, not really enjoying any of this. No sooner had they gotten settled when a young doctor walked in.

"Hi, I'm Dr. Ika. Kinomi and Rei?" he asked.

"That's them, I'm Ami, the friend that brought them here!" Himizu said brightly. The doctor let his eyes race over her, from the braid that innocently flopped over her shoulder and curled around her body, to the exact spot where her skirt stopped covering her legs. Himizu felt uncomfortable and tugged at her skirt nervously. The doctor smiled at her, then stuck his head out the door.

"Dr. Mortimer, sir? We have a couple potential patients in here!"

An older man poked his head in and looked over Rei and Kinomi, who were still cuddling on the examining table, and Ami who was now playing with the butterfly clip at the end of her braid.

"Send them all to Ward B. Some beds have… recently opened up," he said, and he turned to leave. The younger doctor followed him out the door and Himizu saw to her shock that Dr. Mortimer was carrying some bloody knives and a chainsaw.

"Last time I checked there was absolutely nothing that went on here that required _those_," she said. At that moment the Dr. Ika stepped back in with half a dozen burly ward attendants.

"The doctor said Ward B," he said, and the burly attendants grabbed Hiei, Ryouko, and Himizu.

"Hey, what are you doing? I'm not the one with the problems, I brought these two to you so you could help them!" Himizu cried. The young doctor smiled.

"Standard procedure, we want to give you an evaluation as well just in case."

"Just in case what? They're mental problems, not contagious pathogens!" she yelled at him.

"Hm, hostility… could by a symptom."

"You're making things sound bad when they're just normal!"

"Irrational logic, and perhaps some paranoia."

"You're not listening to me!"

"Delusions."

"You're only locking me up to fill beds!"

"More delusions, and definitely some paranoia."

"Go fuck yourself."

"Aggression."

Himizu's jaw dropped open and she stared at him. "You're full of shit. Who hired you?"

"Dr. Mortimer said I showed great promise in this facility."

"I'll just bet he did, you're nothing but his lackey."

Dr. Ika's face clouded with rage. "Get them to Ward B and step on it. I'll decide later if they should be restrained too."

The three new patients were dragged to Ward B and given three cots next to each other. Risu and Kurama saw this and exchanged quick glances.

"I thought Himizu was going to stay outside the House," Kurama said.

"Well… no matter, we can work with this. Let's go get assigned to Ward B," Risu said.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: So I see this fic is getting a lot of traffic, but no reviews... very disappointing... I was gonna wait a while to post this, but I'm not ready to update All the World's a Fanfic yet and I'm trying to stay in the habit of posting something every week, so... here we go!

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho or its characters, or any other animes and characters I mentioned, but I do own the House and all the characters residing in the House... poor doomed souls...

Chapter 2

Inside Ward B, the trio was assigned to adjacent beds, which was rather convenient, but Himizu was puzzled.

"This doesn't make sense… according to your specific delusions, you two should really be kept separate so that you can recover without outside influence."

"True, this isn't how the place is supposed to be run at all…" Ryouko said as she glanced around the room. There were several young men and women sitting all around, most of them cooing over or making out with pictures of various anime characters. "Those should all have been confiscated when they arrived here."

At that moment, angry shrieks punctuated the air as two girls who were both obsessed with Sanosuke from Rurouni Kenshin from the looks of the pictures around their sleeping areas started fighting over which one of them Sanosuke was more in love with. Soon they were clawing at each other and pulling hair and generally trying to destroy each other. An alarm started going off and several nurses ran in, including Kurama and Risu. But instead of going to break up the fight, they started running around and making sure that no one else got involved in the fight. Risu tapped the shoulder of the nurse in charge of their training.

"Um, shouldn't we be stopping those two from killing each other?" she asked.

"Oh Togi, as soon as we get better health coverage, then we can get involved, but it's much better if we just sit back and observe and then send them off to another hospital once they tire themselves out," the nurse replied. "Kango, be a dear and stop that young lady over there from getting too close."

Kurama stepped forward and grabbed the girl, a plump girl with hair dyed red. She stared up at him.

"Your name begins with a K! So does Kurama's name! I love him so much! KURAMA!" she squealed. Kurama sweatdropped and prayed that his wig never came off again.

Eventually the fighting girls were too bloodied and exhausted to keep fighting, so they collapsed and were promptly put in strait jackets and carted off. Risu and Kurama cast glances back to Himizu, Ryouko, and Hiei where they were sitting on their beds, but then they had to hurry off. Himizu lay back on her bed and stared at the ceiling.

"Well this sucks. We need to figure out a way to sneak around this place and get the rest of the evidence we need." She glanced over at her two cohorts and was pleased to see that they had settled back into character. Hiei was lying on his bed and Ryouko had lain down next to him. She was lying on her side to talk to Himizu and Hiei had put one of his arms underneath her so that his arm curved around her and his hand rested on her hip, keeping her from accidentally falling off the bed.

"Yeah, but we'll need to talk to Kurama and Risu first. I hope they have keys so we can see some of the locked wards," Ryouko said. Himizu sighed.

"It's different being in the general wards. Usually we're locked in our private suites. It's restrictive of course, but still pretty nice. Plus, you know, not sharing with other fangirls and fanboys."

Ryouko was about to reply when a tiny brunette walked over to them. "Hey, why are you wearing a cloak like Hiei's?" she asked. A quick glance confirmed that she was a Hiei fangirl.

"Well, duh, because I AM Hiei," Hiei replied. Himizu dramatically rolled her eyes so that the fangirl could see.

You're not Hiei!" the girl exclaimed. "Hiei is SO much hotter than you! If Hiei were here, I would sense his presence because we are soul mates!" she added proudly. Hiei lifted an eyebrow. Now Ryouko jumped to her feet.

"You and Hiei are not soul mates! Hiei is mine! I had him first! And if you even think of putting your ugly paws on him, I'll destroy you! Now leave us alone!" she exclaimed.

The girl started laughing. "Wow, you really think that this guy is Hiei? That's so dumb! Any fool could see that that's not Hiei Jaganshi!" At this point, Himizu had to turn her head and bite her lip to keep from howling with laughter. Ryouko slapped the girl across the face.

"All you've done is prove that you're not a true Hiei fan!" she declared, sitting down next to Hiei again. The girl spluttered indignantly, but finally turned and left. Ryouko resumed her former position lying next to Hiei and he put his arm around her again. "How was that performance?" she asked.

"Very convincing," Hiei said with a slight grin. Himizu could no longer contain herself and the laughter exploded out of her.

"God, fanatics are so dumb…" she choked out. The laughter died when the door to the ward opened and Dr. Ika walked in. Himizu was on her feet in a second. "So what's it gonna take for you to let me out of here, huh?" she demanded.

"Sit down, I would like to have a little interview with you first," the doctor replied.

Himizu sighed and sat back down. "Fine…"

"First tell me how long you and Kinomi have been friends, Ami."

"Years… like since kindergarten at least."

"I see… And how long has she been having delusions about Hiei Jaganshi?"

"Hard to say… I think she kept them secret from me for a while… at least three years, but it could be as many as seven. That's when we started watching Yu Yu Hakusho."

"I see. And what about you, do you have any obsessions about anime characters?"

"I am attracted to a few of them, but I'm not obsessed. I know that they're only characters in anime and that they will never be around to date me or fall in love with me or marry me."

The doctor nodded. "Okay, tell me about Rei."

"He showed up at our school three or four years ago and he was pretty normal at first. He and Kinomi became friends and they started watching anime together and he admired how strong and powerful Hiei was. At first it was just envy but then it became an obsession and he started trying to talk and act like Hiei. Then he started to style his hair like Hiei. He was even trying to find red contacts."

"And when did he start to believe that he was Hiei?"

"About a year ago."

"And Kinomi?"

"At first she tried to ignore his delusions. But then… I don't know, it was like she realized that Hiei wasn't real, and she couldn't accept that, so she latched onto Rei as a surrogate for her love."

"When was this?"

"Just a few months ago. I tried to help them stop, but they wouldn't listen to me and things just got worse and worse. I was ready to give up when I heard through the grapevine that there was a place that could help people like them."

"It takes a very true friend, Ami, to help your friends at a time like this." The doctor's eyes were intently focused on Himizu. During the interview, she had absentmindedly crossed her legs, and this gap in her skirt was clearly distracting the doctor. Himizu finally was able to stop focusing on her story long enough to realize what was going on and she smacked him as hard as she could.

"Look you sick freak, we both know that I brought these people here because I realize they need help and you're only keeping me here because you're having hentai fantasies that involved me in a strait jacket, so let's cut the crap and you better just let me leave because you won't like what I do to you if the harassment continues!" she yelled at him. Dr. Ika stood up, his face flushed.

"I don't think I can let you go just yet. You're still having some paranoid delusions and some serious hostility issues, and I think we need to keep you under observation here a little longer. And I would watch your attitude or I'll send you to Ward X for some readjustment."

Himizu had a puzzled look on her face as the doctor walked away. "What did he mean by Ward X? There is no Ward X…"

Risu and Kurama walked in and started distributing medications and food to the inmates. A few people murmured their thanks to nurses Togi and Kango, but mostly they were ignored by patients too focused on their obsessions. Finally they reached Hiei, Ryouko, and Himizu.

"How are things going?" Risu asked.

"Not good. What have you guys learned?" Himizu asked.

"Not much," Kurama admitted. "We learned that the nurses have basically no health coverage and someone higher up decided that it was safer for them to not break up fights between patients and just send people to the hospital if they're injured in a fight or harm themselves."

"That's not how we set this up," Himizu hissed.

"Yeah, it gets better. The check-in procedure is basically what you guys went through. No matter how delirious a person is when they arrive here, no real attempts are made to help them. They're not separated from objects of their obsessions, and only a few medications are dispensed, mostly some mild sedatives to keep people relaxed, and a few people are on some antidepressants."

"What about counseling?"

"All the counselors were fired. Dr. Mortimer claimed that the budget could be spent in other ways that were more beneficial to the hospital."

"So all the fanatics that we've been trying to help are just being locked up in dormitory-style wards and kept under mild tranquilizers until they wind up fighting with other inmates or go even more nuts than they already were?" Himizu asked after several moments of silence.

"Yeah basically. And there are rumors that Dr. Mortimer is embezzling the money that used to be used to care for patients, and instead using it to fund his own experiments," Risu added. Himizu looked pissed.

"I knew it! That bastard! Wait, what happens to the people that go even more nuts than they already were? Are they being shipped to other facilities?"

"That's the really weird part… there are some records of them being shipped to other asylums, but Risu and I called a few during our break and they didn't have any records of receiving the patients," Kurama said.

"Odd… very odd… none of this is adding up… "Himizu muttered. "By the way, what do you two know about Ward X?"

Risu shrugged. "They didn't give us a tour of that place. They just said that access was restricted and the only people allowed back there were Dr. Mortimer and Dr. Ika. They won't allow any nurses back there at all, not even the most senior nurses on staff."

"Well then we'll just have to find out for ourselves," Himizu said. "Keys?"

Risu plopped a set of keys into Himizu's hand. "There. I'll use Kurama's copies if I need them."

"Thanks you two. We're going to wait until everyone seems nice and distracted, then we'll start snooping around," Himizu said.

"Right, we'll try to do the same," Risu agreed. "Good luck."

"Same to you." And Risu and Kurama left the ward. Himizu turned to Ryouko and Hiei. "Okay, here's the plan. You two are going to go search one part of the building. If anyone stops you, you're trying to find a place to be alone. That way you won't get in trouble." She was mildly surprised that neither one objected to this plan. "I'll take Risu's keys and search as many places as I can. Let's go."

A/N: Hope you enjoyed, please please please review!


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: So here we are, the second to last chapter. This is a really short fic, but I still really like it. Mwa ha ha. Please enjoy and review!

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho, but I own the House of the Nutcases and everyone and everything within its walls.

**Chapter 3**

The trio slipped out of the ward and split up at once. Himizu's mind was racing as she tried to figure out what her cover story could possibly be if she were caught. Frankly there weren't many excuses, especially when she was trying to convince people that she was sane… She was beginning to fear that getting caught would mark the end of this adventure and she would have to unmask herself. But would that be enough to save her if she was caught or would she only be putting herself in more danger? This was a puzzling question and Himizu realized she would be wiser not to get caught at all. She also wondered how Ryouko and Hiei were doing. They'd been acting awfully odd…

Elsewhere in the House, Ryouko and Hiei were sneaking around trying to break into offices so they could steal incriminating records so Ryouko and her friends could fire the rogue doctors and regain control of the House. They slipped into one and Hiei started going through the drawers and file cabinets while Ryouko combed the computerized records and printing off any documents that seemed useful. Hiei added some files to the pile, then leaned over to read from the computer screen over her shoulder.

"I've been wondering something…" he said to her.

"Yes?" she asked, turning to look at him, their noses nearly touching.

"How did you let this place get so out of control? You and Himizu… I wouldn't call you controlling, but you do like to know what's going on."

"That's a good question," she said with a sigh. "Basically what happened was we got so busy with the rest of our lives and we gradually let this place be more and more self-sufficient and by the time we got back to looking at it… well, this had happened. It's our fault of course, we should never have ignored this place, but since it's a non-profit organization…"

"You had no motivation?" Hiei asked, lifting an eyebrow. Ryouko blushed a little. Hiei couldn't help but smile. "It's okay, I understand. You guys have good intentions, so you can be forgiven."

"Thanks, but it's not your forgiveness we need to earn, it's the forgiveness of everyone else who's been hurt by this place in our absence," Ryouko said. Hiei shook his head.

"You're such a confusing person," he said.

"That's why you like me," Ryouko replied, sticking her tongue out at him. Hiei shook his head. They gathered up the documents and concealed them under Hiei's cloak. Just as they were about to leave, Hiei's Jagon lit up and he grabbed her arm.

"There's someone heading to the door… one of the nurses!"

"Quick!" Ryouko hissed, grabbing him and pulling him on top of her onto the nearest chair. Then she put one arm around his waist and the other behind his head, pressing his lips to hers. Surprised, he resisted for a moment, then went with the flow, holding her gingerly, afraid to overreact to this charade, but knowing that they needed to be convincing. The door opened, the nurse stepped in, and she gasped. Then she stepped out of the room and shut the door again, but almost instantly she had opened the door again.

"What is going on here? How did you two get out of the ward?" she cried. Ryouko and Hiei both loudly (and falsely of course) gasped in surprise. The nurse ran to the door and yelled for someone to come help her with escaped patients. As luck would have it, Kurama and Risu got there first.

"What's going on?" Risu exclaimed.

"Togi! Kango! These two patients have escaped their ward. Figure out where they belong and get them back here," the nurse barked at them.

Risu and Kurama saluted and grabbed Hiei and Ryouko. Risu went to the computer and pretended to check their wards. "It says they're Rei and Kinomi, from Ward B."

"Get them back there on the double and make sure the door is locked this time!"

"Yes ma'am!" Risu and Kurama said, leading the way back. As soon as they were out of earshot of the nurse, Risu started snickering.

"So… seeking some 'privacy'?" she asked, still snickering. Ryouko and Hiei rolled their eyes, but Kurama couldn't help notice that Ryouko had a slightly unnatural blush and Hiei… well there was nothing specific, but Kurama sensed that something was up. But before he could question them, Ryouko spoke up.

"We found all the incriminating documents we need. Now we just need to collect Himizu and we can get rid of Dr. Mortimer and Dr. Ika and get this place back on track."

"Yes, the question is… where is Himizu?" Risu asked.

"She said something about trying to break into Ward X…" Ryouko said nervously.

"WHAT? Why didn't you try to talk her out of it?" Risu cried.

"Oh come on, you know what she can be like! More stubborn than a hundred mules!" Ryouko blustered, but Kurama again sensed the unnatural tension between her and Hiei, and he began to suspect that this odd fake affair they were forced to play out was affecting them more than either one would be willing to let on.

"To Ward X then!" Risu exclaimed, racing down the hallway. The other three followed on her heels.

Himizu walked up to the door of Ward X. First she pressed her ear to the door, but there was dead silence behind it. Then she jimmied the handle, but it was locked. She had expected that, so she pulled out the key ring and methodically checked each key until she found one that fit in the lock. She wondered for only a moment why Dr. Mortimer would allow even the bottom-rung nurses to carry around keys to his private lab, but she had no time for this. She poked her head in the door and glanced around enough to ensure that no one was in the room, then slipped inside, shutting the door quickly behind her and looking around for a hiding place. Finding a table with some boxes stacked around it, she dove in that direction and crouched next to the boxes, listening intently for any sound other than her own breathing.

Dr. Mortimer walked into the room just then, mumbling to himself. He laid a chainsaw on another table and walked over to a computer and typed for a while. Then he stood up again and walked into a back room. Himizu followed, and she had to bite her lip to keep from crying out.

Inside the room stood between fifteen and twenty pod-like structures that resembled tanning beds. Inside each pod lay a girl covered with a variety of wires and straps and hooked up to machines. Himizu got as close as she dared to the nearest set of machines and read the labels as quickly as she could. Some seemed to be standard life-support machines, but another one appeared to be some kind of virtual reality machine and another… Himizu couldn't even tell what it was, but there were colored tubes that appeared to be filling up and a gauge with a needle creeping towards an F that probably stood for Full. Himizu stared in puzzlement at the machine. What was this thing being used for? She slid back into the shadows and looked around. There were a few more doors nearby, so she waited until Dr. Mortimer was distracted and she ran to the nearest door.

The first room she looked in was very much like the main room, with several more of these odd machines, all holding a girl or a boy (although there were more girls, just as the number of girl patients in the House far exceeded the number of boys). The next two rooms held even more machines. The next one had a very large machine whose function Himizu couldn't identify offhand, but it appeared to be powered by the colored tubes she'd seen attached to the tanning bed-like machines. Deciding she'd seen enough, Himizu snuck back to the front room and went straight to the computer. It only took a few minutes of searching to find Dr. Mortimer's records of all the patients hooked up to the machines. Himizu was surprised to notice that the very first patient he'd ever entered into this particular record was still here, if the fact that Dr. Mortimer had updated the record just the day before was any indication. So the machines weren't killing the fangirls and fanboys, so what were they doing? Himizu bit her lip, realizing that a confrontation with Dr. Mortimer was becoming inevitable. She sighed and turned to go leave the ward to go and find her friends, but she found her path blocked by none other than Dr. Ika.

"You!" she exclaimed. "You absolute pain in the ass!"

"Ami, Ami, Ami…" the doctor said gently. "I could sense that you were a curious young lady, but you've taken things much too far. I would love to know how you got your hands on a key to this room, but frankly I don't have the time to interrogate you. I'm afraid we're just going to have to hook you up to one of our lovely machines here."

"Yes, the machines… What is this all about?" she asked, playing for time while she came up with a plan.

"They're actually a very neat little invention. The subjects are attached to a virtual reality machine so that they end up in a fantasy world with the anime character, or characters, of their choice. They are kept in a coma-like state and kept alive by machines. We use Dr. Mortimer's special machine to collect their life energy, which we use to power the same machines that keep them alive and in the virtual world. We take just enough life energy to keep the machines going and keep them in a coma. It's a very nice self-sustaining little process and we save a fortune on caring for them. The machines cost a lot of money to produce, but once we have the whole hospital on one of these machines, there will be almost no cost. It's brilliant!"

"Sure, brilliant, assuming that we want to leave these people trapped in limbo forever. I thought the goal of the hospital was to treat the patients and release them once they were sane enough to handle the real world again."

"Sure, that's the stated goal, but the girls who own the hospital don't really seem to care as long as they don't have to pay too much out of their own pockets. We'll keep treating them as usual so that they're none the wiser, but eventually the rest of our patients will be attached to these machines."

"This is horrible! This is violating everything the House stands for! And what happens if the machines are unplugged or otherwise lose power?"

"Well it will depend. Some of the patients who have only been attached to the machines for a short while would probably come out of their comas and recover… though we would of course wants to get them strapped back in as soon as possible. Those that have been attached to the machines for a while… probably wouldn't last very long without the machines keeping them alive. Their bodies will have forgotten how to function and if we don't get them reattached, they'll probably die."

"So this is a virtual death sentence for people who are physically healthy, just with some bats in the belfry?"

"If you want to put it that way."

"This is horrible! You need to stop this nonsense right now!" she exclaimed.

"Ami, it's much too late to just stop this. Besides, you don't have the authority to stop us," Dr. Ika said, grabbing her and dragging her back into the room with all the machines. Dr. Mortimer was standing there making minor adjustments to one of the machines, and he looked up when his apprentice walked in, dragging Himizu after him.

"What's this now?"

"This girl broke in and was snooping around," Dr. Ika replied.

"Pity… She's the one that you were trying to find an excuse to keep here so you could try to woo her, right?"

"Yes…" Dr. Ika admitted, shooting an embarrassed glance at Himizu, who scowled.

"You are a despicable person and I hate you," she snarled at him.

"Doesn't sound like you did very well at all…" Dr. Mortimer mumbled. Dr. Ika scowled even more fiercely and dragged Himizu resolutely to an empty machine.

Now Himizu went into full defensive mode, kicking the young doctor as hard as she could in the shin and elbowing him in the face. Then she kicked him once more, this time in the crotch. As the doctor doubled over in pain, Himizu took off towards the door, but Dr. Mortimer pushed a wheeled cart covered with different tools in her direction, hitting her as she ran and sending her flying. She recovered well, but Dr. Ika was able to catch up with her. So Himizu tried one of the last cards in her hand. She reached up and grabbed her wig, yanking it off and staring straight at Dr. Mortimer. As she had hoped, he recognized her.

"Himizu?" he cried.

"In the flesh. Now tell your crony to get his hands off of me!"

Dr. Mortimer sighed. "I'm afraid I can't do that. I'll still have an easier time explaining your disappearance to your friends than disabling my life's work by getting rid of these machines. Dr. Ika, carry on."

Himizu's jaw dropped. "Need I remind you that you're my employee, Dr. Mortimer?"

"Only on paper, Miss Himizu," the doctor replied. "Now please, Dr. Ika. She's a crafty young woman, as you've seen already, and I'd like to have her out of the way as quickly as possible." Dr. Ika grabbed Himizu again.

"Sorry Ami… or Himizu, I guess your real name is… I really am sorry, you're a lovely person, but you're going to ruin our work and I have to do everything I can to prevent that."

Himizu gritted her teeth and prepared to fight her way away from Dr. Ika. But he and Dr. Mortimer were too wily for her and she found herself hit over the head and knocked senseless. Dr. Ika scooped her up and carried her over to the machine that he planned to hook her up to. But both doctors had underestimated how hard the girl's skull was (seriously, they had no idea how many times she had been slapped, smacked, punched, or hit with baseball bats, mallets, clubs, and so many other blunt objects wielded by people who were supposed to be her friends). Himizu's eyes fluttered open rather quickly and she was able to register almost at once what was happening. She feigned unconsciousness for a few more moments, then suddenly she kicked Dr. Ika and sprang away from him, landing directly between the two doctors and striking a Kung Fu type pose. Both doctors moved to attack her but suddenly Himizu held up her hands.

"FREEZE!"


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: The final chapter already! I told you this was a short one! Now I need to stop working on a hundred different projects and focus on getting the next fic ready for posting!

Disclaimer: I own everything except the song I sing at the beginning and YYH, the movie Thirteen Ghosts, and any other obviously copyrighted material that I've forgotten about.

**Chapter 4**

The doctors froze and stared at the girl in front of them who had just yelled at them to "FREEZE!" For a long moment, no one moved. Then Himizu suddenly started to dance, and to sing at the top of her lungs.

_"Cuz I've been waiting all night to see you dance like me, You gon sweat your outfit out trying to dance like me, And let me see, Ah ah ah freeze! Like me!"_

From several hallways away, Ryouko's ear caught the singing. "Damnit, Himizu's singing again!"

Kurama looked confused. "Why would she be singing at a time like this?"

"She must be in trouble! On the double!" Risu exclaimed as they ran the last few yards to the doors of Ward X.

They burst in just in time to see Himizu finished her rendition of Freeze by T-pain and Chris Brown. The two doctors were staring at her in total befuddlement, which gave the gang the perfect opportunity to storm in. Himizu looked relieved to see them.

"Yay, you guys are here!" she exclaimed. "You can lose the disguises if you want, I already unmasked myself, but that only made them more determined to turn me into a vegetable."

"Vegetable like a potato or vegetable like a coma?" Ryouko asked as she and Risu removed their disguises. Dr. Mortimer and Dr. Ika looked even more dismayed than before.

"The second one."

"Well that seems more pleasant than the first one since I have no idea how they would even accomplish that," Ryouko mused. "So what's the story here?"

"Short version or long version?"

"Short."

"Okay… Dr. Mortimer and Dr. Ika are evil sons of bitches."

"Not as short as Hiei! More detail! Make it not as short as Risu."

Hiei stared blankly at Ryouko and Risu smacked Ryouko upside the head and tried to strangle her. Himizu frowned slightly, trying to decide how long the story had to be to be just a little taller than Risu.

"Okay, basically these two bakas here decided that the best way to deal with insane fans is to put them into artificial comas, hook them up to virtual reality machines, and power the entire operation using the life energies of the patients."

"That's… bad… but not too terribly bad…"

"They're not getting anyone's consent though."

"WHAT?" Ryouko screamed, as lightning appeared all around her, thunder boomed, and everyone jumped back, wondering how in the hell she'd managed to conjure up a thunderstorm. Then the storm vanished and Himizu and Risu went to stand next to her and they faced the doctors.

"Now, dear sirs, you will understand why no one has ever messed with us more than once," Risu told them.

~10 minutes later~

"Well that was enjoyable. We need to kick people's asses more often," Ryouko declared, dusting off her clothes. Drs. Mortimer and Ika had been carted away and it was unlikely that they would be able to live outside a hospital ever again. Several nurses were dismantling the machines and releasing the patients. Risu was sitting at the computer typing up consent forms since the girls agreed there was no sense in wasting potentially useful technology. But this time they would be ethical about it. Kurama and Hiei stared at the girls, eyes twitching.

"Would one of you kindly tell me how in the hell you managed to get all this done in just ten minutes?" Kurama finally exclaimed. The girls looked at each other and rolled their eyes.

"Oh Kurama, you should know this by now. We're just totally awesome like that," Himizu told him.

"Right…" Kurama muttered. Hiei rolled his eyes and leaned against a nearby table, waiting for them to finish their work.

"The next doctor we hire is going to have to be a hell of a lot more trustworthy than these clowns… and we clearly need to keep a closer eye on the place for a while," Risu muttered.

"Yeah… we'll start setting up interviews in the morning. In the meantime, we'll make some changes to the health benefits of the nurses and change the policies so our patients get the help that they need," Himizu said. "Once we're done with all that, we can head back to Animedom."

~30 minutes later~

"Okay seriously! How can it take you only 10 minutes to kick the asses of two doctors, summon the nurses, and revive all the patients from artificial comas that even Dr. Mortimer didn't think could be reversed, but take 30 minutes to fill out paperwork and rewrite some policies?" Hiei yelled at them. The girls sweatdropped.

"Dude, did you see the stacks of paperwork we had to fill out? I'm pretty sure five redwoods died just for one set of papers, and all of them had to be filled out in triplicate!" Ryouko exclaimed. Hiei and Kurama exchanged bemused glances and shook their heads. The girls finished filing the papers and walked out of the office and into the lobby. The whole place looked brighter and more cheerful. The nurses seemed relaxed and pleasant, and there were a few patients walking around, seeming very calm and rational now that they were being properly treated. Kurama and Hiei had wisely kept their disguises on, so they were able to walk out of the building unmolested. They stepped outside of the House, then Himizu teleported them back to Animedom and the boys fled at once so that they could change out of their disguises. They wandered back in to find Ryouko, Risu, and Himizu chilling out on some couches and watching TV.

"You guys wanna stay and hang out or are you ready to go home?" Himizu asked them.

The boys shrugged. "We'll stay," Kurama said finally. "We might as well. Just so long as you promise there won't be any more crazy adventures for a while."

"Never! There shall be no promises!" Himizu and Risu exclaimed simultaneously. Then they started throwing pillows at each other and accusing each other of copying the other one. Kurama sat down in a chair out of pillow-firing range and accepted a bowl of popcorn from one of the robot servants. Hiei dodged the pillows and sat down next to Ryouko on her couch. Satisfied that everyone else in the room was occupied, Ryouko leaned over to Hiei.

"I hope you didn't feel too tormented having to play my boyfriend. You gotta admit it worked out well though."

"I still don't quite understand why Kurama and I were even necessary for that trip. You girls could have done the entire mission without our help. When have you ever needed out help? …Besides the time you and Himizu got your sorry butts kidnapped by that creepy demon Koenma hired…" (See Youkai in Black for that story)

"Silly Hiei… Trix are for kids."

"What?"

"Sorry… anyways, would you rather come on our crazy adventures or would you rather go back to your random forest and talk to the chipmunks?"

"I do not talk to chipmunks. I have never talked to chipmunks. Where do you get these ideas?"

"I don't know, they just show up in my brain and then I say them without thinking about it. I blame Himizu."

"Normally I would ask why, but I don't think I need a reason in this case."

"Hey lovebirds!" Himizu exclaimed. "Would you stop the mushy gazes for five seconds and vote on a movie to watch?"

"LOVEBIRDS? MUSHY GAZES? HIMIZU NO BAKA!" Ryouko exclaimed, propelling herself off the couch and jumping at Himizu, her momentum tipping the unfortunate girls' chair right over. It was hard to tell, but the strangled yelps led Kurama, Hiei, and Risu to summarize that Ryouko was strangling Himizu. Risu jumped to her feet and clapped her hands a few times before racing over to separate the two girls.

"Alright, alright, break it up already! Maniacs!"

"You're one to talk… you and Himizu just had a huge pillow war because you said the same thing at the same time. Where did you get all those pillows from anyways?"

"Duh… secret compartment under the couch and chair cushions," Himizu said, as though this was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Oh yeah… I forgot about those."

Kurama opened his mouth to ask what kind of lunatics would think to build compartments under their chairs and couches to store extra pillows in, but he realized he knew the answer already. Clearly it was the kind of lunatics who were standing right in front of him.

The girls stood Himizu's chair upright once again, then settled back down to watch a movie. They ended up selecting Thirteen Ghosts and they were all soon absorbed in the intricate plot that is so much more than just a psychotic horror movie with a mindless killer stalking people for no apparent reason. As they watched the movie, Ryouko rested her head lightly on Hiei's shoulder, casting a quick glance up at him to see if he minded or if he would take it the wrong way. But clearly even their strange adventure hadn't managed to disrupt their bond of friendship.

"Good grief, can't you two stop touching each other for one minute?"

And clearly their adventure hadn't done anything to persuade Himizu that there was no romance between them. If anything, it had had the opposite effect. Ryouko rolled her eyes and hurled a pillow at Himizu to shut her up. Hiei chuckled softly (at the incredibly inopportune moment of a guy getting cut in half, but that's almost to be expected at this point, since it is Hiei after all), amused and oddly pleased to realize that some things about their lives were never going to change.

The End!

A/N: Wow, I've had this idea for quite a while, mostly just the part about the disguises and needing to sneak into the House… I wrote the first chapter right away, but then I let it sit for a while, until just recently, when I started working on it in earnest and ended up writing the next three chapters in about a three hour writing session spread over two nights. Weird how the creative spark shows up at the strangest time. Hope you enjoyed the fic, please review!


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